Wanted editor-in-chief Sarah Buitendach.
Wanted editor-in-chief Sarah Buitendach.
Image: Simz Mkhwanazi

Ed’s letter | Shaping you up for the big time, baby

As they say in the classics, “Behind every successful man, is a woman.” Gents, whether or not you’ve actually got a dame sorting your world out, consider this my gift. A sartorial list of good and bad, crafted by and crowdsourced from some seriously chic ladies. Cut it out and keep it in your sock drawer, make it your phone background, build a shrine to it, do what you must — just read the list below, and do as we say.

DO WEAR

  • Barbour and Driza-Bone jackets. Not so keen on men’s puffer vests.
  • Chelsea boots.
  • Issey Miyake L’Eau d’Issey for men — a classic cologne that will improve your outfit. And your personality.
  • A hoodie — a cashmere one is a good option.
  • Brown or tan shoes with a blue or grey suit.
  • Tweed.
  • A nice Breton stripe.
  • Veldskoen shoes, even the coloured variety.
  • Decent jeans (neither skinny nor bootleg, straight cut is best).
  • A good coat in a nice wool. Not full-length.
  • A sharply fitted suit, fashioned from a quality fabric. It should neither look nor feel highly flammable.

DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT

  • Speedos.
  • Long hair. Mid-back long. Not cool.
  • Popping your collar.
  • Too much linen. You’re not an ambassador in the tropics.
  • Those striped shirts with the white collars and cuffs. This is not 2003.
  • “Ironic” t-shirts — especially anything that refers to women, dating, sex, or alcohol.
  • Synthetic golf shirts and branded sports shirts that cling to every bump.
  • Pants rolled up to expose bare ankles.
  • Money clips. Puh-leez — who are you? A mafia don?
  • Pointy shoes.
  • Fedoras. Are you in a 1990s boy band?
  • Man jewellery, bar watches and the odd signet ring or wedding band.
  • Sleeveless vests, irrespective of how buff your body is.
  • Statement belt buckles. The statement they make is: “creepy!”
  • Shiny anything. Shirts, suits — except your shoes.
  • Comical ties, old boy ties, club ties.
  • Dyeing your hair. Just let it go grey; silver foxes are sexy.
  • Fleece (I will permit it for sporting occasions).
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