Which of these three décor gangs do you belong to?
A Wanted guide to the minimum entry requirements for belonging to the coolest décor tribes
Image: Supplied
Like a 3D Rorschach blot or a Myers-Briggs multiple choice of scatter cushions and sconces, how you doll up your home says a lot about you. Use this handy guide to swiftly make it, fake it — or categorise your next dinner-party neighbour. Alternatively, you could just covet some of these gorgeous décor items.
1. THE NEXT-GEN WASP
THIS IS YOUR VIBE IF YOU LIKE:
- Perfectly oversized linen or leather
- Chesterfield couches
- Floral prints
- Nautical anything
- A statement wallpaper in the guest loo
- Black-and-white checkerboard marble floors
- Piped scatters (must be filled with down inners)
- A nice ticking stripe
- Ardmore ceramics
- Malawi cane chairs
- Fireplaces
- Woven baskets
- Ikat and suzani fabrics
YOU SHOULD SHOP AT:
For art: Everard Read for the classics and Chandler House for the young guns.
For more furniture and fittings in the style: Cécile & Boyd, Pezula Interiors, Gatehouse, Victorian Bathrooms, St Leger & Viney and Mavromac.
READ: English décor magazines, biographies on the Mitfords, Churchill, and anything by Graham Viney.
Image: Supplied
WATCH: The Crown, Planet Earth, and Antiques Roadshow.
NEVER BE SEEN WITHOUT: Hunter boots, a barbour jacket, a pashmina, a Panama hat, and a touch of Liberty print.
STOCK YOUR FRIDGE WITH: Hendrick’s gin and ingredients to make one of Susan Greig’s latest recipes .
HOLIDAY IN: Plett and Jaipur — for the block-printed fabrics, obvs.
2. THE MOD MINIMALIST
THIS IS YOUR VIBE IF YOU LIKE:
- Marie Kondo
- G Plan furniture from the 1960s
- Bauhaus
- Drinks trolleys
- Contemporary art
- A pop of colour (preferably terracotta or petrol blue)
- Retro glass
- Walter Battiss and Eduardo Villa
- Expensive oud candles
YOU SHOULD SHOP AT:
For art: Jeremy Stephen Antiques, Stevenson Gallery, Russell Kaplan Auctioneers
Image: Supplied
For more furniture and fittings in the style: Tonic Design, Anatomy Design, Gregor Jenkin, Guild Gallery, OKHA. StudioMAS better design your house, or you’re going to have to nab an original Michael Sutton or Gabriel Fagan pad.
READ: Monocle, The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, graphic novels, and the FT Weekend.
WATCH: Don’t bother. It’s too fringe and directional to actually be enjoyable.
LISTEN TO: Podcasts.
NEVER BE SEEN WITHOUT: A bespoke white shirt, a glass of prosecco, a 1970s Merc, and Ae¯sop beauty products.
HOLIDAY IN: Plett and Puglia.
3. THE BOUGIE BOHEMIAN
THIS IS YOUR VIBE IF YOU LIKE:
- Incense
- Kelim and Berber rugs
- Woven baskets
- Peacock-shaped, rattan headboards
- Macramé
- Tassels
- A Mexican flaming-heart mirror
- Bamboo cutlery and crockery
- Reclaimed wood picture frames
- 100% natural-fibre, T-shirt-material bedding
- Indoor plants
- Worn tan leather sofas and Moroccan poofs
YOU SHOULD SHOP AT:
For art: From the place the mom in the school car park said you’d platz for.
Image: Supplied
For more furniture and fittings in the style:The Storer, Weylandts, and online stores La Vie Boheme and Furbelow.
READ: Your aura, the Goop website, Let My People Go Surfing by Patagonia founder Yvon Chouinard, and Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts (just kidding, you’re not going to read the latter — it’s just next to your bed for show).
DABBLE IN: Veganism, mindfulness, and slacktivism.
WATCH: YouTube videos about lymph drainage.
LISTEN TO: Podcasts
NEVER BE SEEN WITHOUT: Yoga pants and green juice.
HOLIDAY IN: Plett and at AfrikaBurn, where you pay someone to pitch you a luxe tent.
OH, AND ONE MORE THING...
IT’S A NO FROM US:
Irrespective of your aesthetic leanings, the following are perennially verboten:
- High-shine, white floor tiles
- Thatched bomas and indoor bars
- Pseudo-Tuscan/Balinese/Provençal anything
- White/cream/pastel leather couches • synthetic lace curtains
- Decorative words displayed on a wall. Happy, love, peace — no!
- Copper clocks in the shape of Africa
- Furniture made from railway sleepers
- Rusty metal anything
- Cement owls with glass eyes that you got in Nieu-Bethesda
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STOCKISTS
- CC-Tapis
- Cream Design
- Ferm Living
- Gubi
- @Home Living Spaces
- Kare Design
- Ligne Rose
- Muuto
- Pinch Design
- Silk and Cotton
- St Leger
- Weylandts
- Woud
- Silka Design
ADDITIONAL CREDITS
Production: Leana Schoeman.