Hot lunch with Yuri Pailman

The first time I noticed Yuri Pailman, he was strutting his stuff in a fashion show. It goes without saying he is a glorious-looking human, but that’s not what makes a good model. There has to be some magic sprinkled on top of the basic package that compels people to look at someone.

In Yuri’s case, that spellbinding stuff is obvious to all and sundry when he walks down a runway, poses for the camera, or merely sits down for coffee and cake with me at Hyde Park Hotel — with one of the best views in Joburg spread out behind him.

We are here celebrating his South African Style Award. For 27 years, the gongs have gone to South Africans who express their style in every aspect of their lives. You can see why Yuri is a most worthy winner — and not just because he is superbly on trend in the sartorial department.

He was born to a Mozambican mother and a South African father, and lived between the two countries all his life, but Joburg has always been his spiritual home.

“I’m obsessed with Joburg. When I finished school, I was supposed to stay in Mozambique, but I ran away to Joburg, just because of the people there.”

He was always drawn to South Africa. As a 10-year-old, he agitated to come to school in Joburg, because he felt so alone in Mozambique.

“All this negative stuff that’s happening in the world — I think it’s also a reminder the world is always going to pull or fight us in a way. So we just have to stay strong, find people who are like-minded, and face the world knowing that at least we’re not alone.”

He explains that, as an LGBTQ+ kid and a person with alopecia, he was bullied a lot when he was younger.

“I’ve always been a positive person. I don’t take the negative from someone, but rather the positive. If you’re bullying me, that means you’re jealous of me in some way, otherwise you’re just wasting your breath in talking to me.”

His mother was opposed to his studying fashion after school, and he eventually dropped out of the international relations degree he began at the University of Johannesburg. He had to support himself and so started working in a call centre.

“I became a team leader in three months. I was managing people and was great at it. I think it comes from my not wanting to fail. I was 19 years old and telling 40-year-old people to be at work on time and what to do. So that was such an interesting part of my life.”

Then he was scouted while he was buying wine and given the phone number of a modelling agency. He thought he was being picked up, so he didn’t make the call. But a few months later his boyfriend cheated on him, leading to his experiencing an existential crisis that left him wondering what to do with the rest of his life.

“So I rang the number, and the talent scout said I should come and see him the next day. I went to see him and had some photos taken of me. I was then booked for a music video being shot that week, and for Fashion Week the week thereafter.”

He has since pursued all his dreams — working as a stylist and a casting agent, mentoring other models, and most recently collaborating on a fashion film.

He is convinced that, now more than ever, the world needs greater aesthetic diversity.

“I think what we are doing is great. I think not allowing ourselves to be shut down is very important at this time. We just need to be louder than we were before, whether in aesthetics or culture. I think it’s a case of slapping it back at the mainstream.

“We are needed. Every type of person in the world is needed. Everything operates as it should. We only have this lifetime. Are we going to conform to someone else’s ideals, or are we going to do what we believe in? And I think it’s very important that we stick to what we believe in, because we only have one life, and we’re all going to die.

“This award is really meaningful, because being queer and from Mozambique, I feel I am pushing other queer Mozambican people to take up space and be themselves. I do it from afar because I’m still terrified of Mozambique, but I often wonder what would have happened if I had stayed at the call centre and been too frightened to make that call.”

This article was originally published in Sunday Times Lifestyle.