CHRIS THURMAN: Cheers to the sober curious and just plain curious

The summer festive season is a tricky time for many South Africans to inhabit our all-too-human forms.

For young people, there’s the fuss about “beach bodies” and looking good on Instagram. Those of us who are a little older — especially those of us beholden to our health overlords at Discovery, getting our Vitality checks done before the end of the year — there are the reminders that our cholesterol is high, we’re technically overweight and our biological age is about 10 years more than our ID number suggests.

Every December I imagine that I will spend the weeks ahead eating better and drinking less booze; that I’ll be out exercising every day, running (or at least power-walking) up mountains and clocking hundreds of kilometres on the trail before the holidays are done. During this time spent in beautiful scenery, sweating and panting, there will be epiphanies to carry me into the new year. And I will emerge from it all a chiselled Adonis, newly at peace with my medical aid and life insurance providers.   

Of course, things never quite work out that way — or at least, they haven’t yet. Yuletide comes with traditions that involve beer, wine, bubbles and plenty of G&T. Not exactly circumstances lending themselves to health and fitness.  

But all is not lost. As if intuiting my plight, the good people at Okushal sent me a gift pack of their new range of four nonalcoholic cordials. For now, it’s farewell, chardonnay and cap classique, and welcome instead to the Okushal quartet: prickly pear and mint; ginger and pineapple; raspberry and naartjie; and pomegranate, lime and lemon. Throw in lots of ice and soda water, some mocktail trimmings, and this may be my classiest Christmas yet.  

Ordinarily, you have to ply a columnist with alcohol if you want favourable coverage. In this case, however, the Okushalists (yes, it’s a thing) were confident that their nonalcoholic offering would win me over. And it did. Not just because of the contents, but also because of the packaging; for each flavour, an artist or writer has been commissioned to produce an eye-catching design or a thought-arresting piece of text. 

This column originally appeared in Business Day.