Cigar bonds

While indulging in cigars remains a niche hobby in SA, two recent experiences have reminded me of the power of a cigar in bringing together like-minded spirits. Though there are rarely spaces set aside for cigar smokers, we are adept at finding a place for ourselves.

All cigarette smokers need is a corner they can quickly pop in or out of. Cigars, on the other hand, require time, so a space you can enjoy for at least 30 minutes, ideally with seating, is imperative. One that is comfortable, that doesn’t make you feel ostracised and antisocial because enjoying a cigar alone can be a form of self-care. American actor Ron Perlman said: “Some people meditate; I smoke cigars.” Though enjoying it in the company of others is also appreciated.  

Smoking sections in restaurants and bars do not work for cigar smokers because one spends a decent amount of time in the space. It is ironic, at least for me, how some spaces will allow for cigarette smoking but not cigars.

At a cousin’s wedding, set in a beautiful garden on a lovely, warm Saturday afternoon, once the formalities were over, I drifted out of the marquee where the reception was and over to a group of chairs towards the side of the garden, looking for a place to light up and sit back. I found a couple of old friends who I hadn’t seen in a while, all with the same idea. After everyone had gone through the process of cutting and lighting their respective cigars, we ended up catching up for the rest of the evening, exploring everything from parenting and relationships to business.

As Puerto Rican actor Raul Julia so eloquently put it, “A cigar is as good as memories that you have when you smoked it.” There is a togetherness and bond that is born out of sparking a cigar among friends that creates friendship among former strangers.

Fast forward a couple of weeks and I was in Durban for a friend’s 50th birthday celebration. On this occasion, the setting was a guest house set close to the beach. Once the formalities were over, I was pleased to discover that two of the guests I shared a table with were also cigar smokers.  

After sharing the back stories of how we came to cigars, which cigars we enjoyed and what we were smoking — mine was an AJ Fernandez Bellas Artes Maduro — the conversation turned to life experiences, Pan-Africanism, podcasting, navigating marriage, blended families and everything in between. 

The following day, the celebration and the conversations around cigars were in the garden and on the deck of a guest house in La Lucia with the Indian Ocean as the backdrop. By now we were all bosom buddies and the camaraderie had deepened to the point where we were already making plans to meet up when we all got back home to enjoy more cigars in each other’s company and to explore opportunities for business. For this part, I enjoyed a My Father La Opulencia Toro followed by a Plasencia Alma del Fuego Concepcion, which were perfect to bring a weekend of celebration, conversation and goodwill to a beautiful close.

In my life, friendships have been deepened and new friendships have been made by cigars.