Ed’s Note
Someone sent me a picture of pumpkins and a turkey, reminding me to be grateful for my blessings. And also hoping that said blessings multiply. It was for the great American festival of Thanksgiving and who can really argue with that? Gratitude is good for you. A now substantial body of research shows it lowers your stress, helps with depression, and makes you feel better. It’s also good for your romantic relationship and helps prevent burnout at work. Which makes me think they should be serving it up at the canteen with the bottomless cup of coffee at this time of year.
Of course, the irony of this very American holiday timeline is not lost on me, given the ongoing G20 diplomatic ruckus with the pumpkin-hued US president. I just read Wikipedia in a cursory fashion, so what do I really know, but it seems that the first Thanksgiving involved the “pilgrim fathers” sitting down and thanking their lucky stars and also God for the successful harvest (it was touch and go) and their improbable survival in the new land they were busy claiming for their own. (They should probably have been thanking the local residents who showed them the lay of the land and what would actually work. But ja.) I don’t want to get into a comparative analysis here, but I think, when it comes to talking points, the orange man could definitely introduce a “mine is bigger than yours” one-upmanship on the “genocidal” tendencies that followed that initial feast.
There are parallels between our great lands, but let’s not dwell too much on them. Not on the high days and impending holidays. Let’s just be glad to be reminded to be damn grateful because the brave and the free prevailed. It makes sense that this annual glorification of the hard labours of colonialism would be the perfect time to take down South Africans for a slightly different outcome.
Still, I am not opposed to a sit-down feast at the best of times. And God knows we definitely need a dose of grateful. I, for one, wake up every morning and give myself a good hard pinch just to remind myself that I am still present and accounted for and that I had better start feeling thankful for that fact. The alternative is terminal.
If, however, like me, you find that even this hard-line approach to inner joy does not elicit the requisite flood of good vibes, do not despair. It’s not you, it’s your neurology. It’s fighting back. We are built this way — humans and animals alike have a negativity bias. It’s probably the result of evolution: our tendency to give greater weight to the probability of shit hitting the fan, to imagine the worst and then to hold on to the negative outcomes and nurse them for the rest of our lives while helpfully imparting this horrible information to our progeny, probably saved our arses on more than one occasion. Moreover, the reason negativity works is that it’s contagious. Negativity is super catchy, which is why you should probably stay off the socials. Especially Truth social. We are primed to imagine the worst and to cultivate that imagination because it works.
Still, an entire industry has sprung up to try to counteract our wiring and you don’t have to eat a horribly stringy piece of turkey each year to feel the effects of holding on to the affirmative. You can simply list the stuff you feel grateful for and read it every day to yourself. You can also thank people for their upsides. Unexpected acts of spontaneous gratitude have a fantastic effect on both parties in the gratitude exchange. I have started. I am really grateful, I swear I am: I count my blessings every day and pinch myself real hard when I start to veer into negative territory. This week, I am grateful I don’t have a pumpkin telling me what’s what. I am blessed. I am really, really lucky.
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Aspasia
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